


Repeating Mistakes

by A_Little_Bit_Broken



Series: The Past Is Present [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Bad Decisions, Betrayal, Comfort, Decisions, Difficult Decisions, Dinner dates, Eating In, Feeding, Half-truths, M/M, Past Lives, Regret, Reincarnation, Repeating Mistakes, Supernatural Elements, Telling the truth, Too Lazy To Tag, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2018-01-03 08:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Little_Bit_Broken/pseuds/A_Little_Bit_Broken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ghede has decided to tell him. He can't keep this up. Seine needs to know the truth. </p>
<p>But being honest isn't as easy as he'd like. Things get away from him and soon he can't figure out what he's trying to say or do any more. The one thing he does know? He's making a huge mess of things.</p>
<p>He should have just kept his mouth shut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Repeating Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IOU_Superglue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IOU_Superglue/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Meeting the Last Time for the First Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1067744) by [IOU_Superglue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IOU_Superglue/pseuds/IOU_Superglue). 



> These'll just keep happening. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> The piece I wrote for these two's first meeting is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1065258). You don't **need** to read it but, you know, context is nice.

Ghede has decided to tell him. 

It's been months since that first excursion for coffee, months since Seine agreed to go on a date with him. The semester ended and a new one has started -- is almost over -- and they no longer have class together. They've gone on more dates since the first and Ghede has come to like Seine even more than he thought he would and definitely more than he should. 

It can't work, he knows that, but he wants to try, wants to keep him anyway. He can't help the desire. And, so, he needs to tell him, needs to be honest and hope that Seine will believe him, will forgive him, won't look at him as if he's lost his mind. (Which he probably has for even considering doing this in the first place.)

He can help feeling like he's messing with fate or destiny or _whatever_ when he sends Seine a message the next day inviting him over to Ghede's house and it makes his insides roil and spasm.

Seine responds with amused surprise. Ghede's never invited him over before. They must be getting serious. He adds a winky face at the end of his message and says he'll be there. 

Ghede says, great, he's looking forward to it, and ignores the fact that he feels like he might just pass out.

Seine comes by later that night. It's late, going on nine, but Ghede knows he's just gotten out of class and doesn't mind. Seine nearly always has class. He's doing a double major in Behavioural Psychology and Philosophy. Ghede finds it funny. Seine has never understood why and Ghede has never explained. 

Ghede smiles at him as he shows him in and Seine beams back at him, shrugging out his coat and moving into Ghede's space. He tangles their fingers together, Ghede kisses him on the temple and for a moment they just stay like that, breathing each other in, exchanging body heat. 

Ghede pulls away first and tugs Seine towards the kitchen where the dinner he's made is warming in the oven. 

They eat sitting side by side on bar stools at the island since Ghede doesn't have a dining table (he's never needed one). Seine eats nearly everything on his plate (It's pasta and he loves pasta). Ghede picks at his food. 

Seine turns his chair sideways so that he's facing Ghede. "Are you going to tell me about it?" He asks, licking cream sauce off his fork. 

Ghede is momentarily distracted by the motion, with watching Seine's tongue flick out, pink and teasing, before disappearing again, so it takes a few seconds before he manages, "Tell you about what?"

"What's on your mind. Why you invited me over and cooked for me."

"Why do you assume I didn't just do it because I wanted to?"

Seine gives him a droll look. "Because we both know you didn't." 

He leans forward and rests an elbow on the counter in front of them. He locks gazes with Ghede, his eyes half-lidded and obscured by thick lashes, their green so dark and smouldering Ghede feels like he can fall into them and drown. That soft mouth parts, the hint of a knowing smile flickering at its edges as his free hand settles on Ghede's leg just above the knee. 

His touch is so hot Ghede feels burnt and suddenly it's all just far too familiar. That hand, that smile, those eyes, that _look_. Ghede is back in a place he never wanted to visit again, the images washing over him as clear and real and strong as they had been in the moment. 

Seine pressed against a wall. arms wrapped around Ghede's shoulders, nails digging into his skin while Ghede strokes his inner thigh, drawing out mewling sounds from his throat. Only, it isn't Seine. He won't be Seine for a very long time. _Safford_. Ghede remembers now. He'd forgotten that name in all the centuries since, though the face has lived with him. Haunted him. Back then he'd been Safford, and oh, god, had he been beautiful. So painfully beautiful. 

With that beauty he'd exuded a near disturbing purity. He'd looked so angelic even though it was blatantly obvious he was anything but. He'd been rare and special and Ghede had wanted him like he hadn't wanted anything in ages. 

It came to the point where Ghede couldn't take it any more. He'd been reckless in those days. Drunk on the knowledge of his own power. He'd taken Safford and broken him. Violated him. Destroyed him. 

He'd looked neither pure nor angelic at the end. He'd just been bloodied trash, a mistake Ghede had made. Just a thing with which Ghede had sated his lusts and ended up destroying after.

Ghede had ruined him, but in the end, Safford had saved him. Ghede had seen the aftermath of his actions. He'd seen watched them find the body. He'd seen that young officer whose name he'd never learnt mourn for him, grieving from a place so deep inside Ghede hadn't known it could exist. 

Ghede hadn't been able to live easily with himself after that and his ways had changed. He'd made himself into some semblance of a good man. But the memories of that dark time before his redemption still haunt Ghede now and he feels them with a revulsion stronger than anything he's ever known.

He is going to be sick.

"Ghede?" Seine's voice, soft and worried, cuts through his thoughts. "Are you okay?" He's frowning and his hand has migrated to Ghede's shoulder. 

Ghede stares up at him, at that face, at those eyes that he once watched the life drain out of.

"I'm a vampire." He blurts out. It takes a moment to register before he's cringing. He hadn't meant to say it. That wasn't what he was supposed to say but he couldn't bring himself to say what he wants, what he should. _I knew you before this. In another life I killed you._

Seine blinks and just stares at him. He doesn't say anything for a while and Ghede's tension notches up. He doesn't know if the silence is good or bad. He can't read anything from the look on Seine's face.

"Seine?" He manages, when the lack of reaction becomes too much for him to bear.

Seine just cocks his head to the side. "Is that all?" He asks.

Now it's Ghede's turn to blink and stare, though he's sure the look on his face is easy to read: stupification. "What do you mean, 'is that all'?"

"I mean I already know that. I thought it was going to be something else."

"Wha-" Ghede is beyond shocked. "How did you know?"

Seine smiles serenely. "I just do. You're not as good at hiding it as you think."

Ghede frowns. Millennia he's been alive and no one's ever said the like to him. "I think maybe you're just too observant." He grumbles.

Seine doesn't argue the point, just meets Ghede's eyes and gives him a look that's part nervousness, part excitement and part seduction. "So," he says, his voice low and breathy, "If you're telling me this does it mean you need me to feed you?"

Ghede has no idea how to answer. He can only sit there and wonder how the conversation managed to get away from him like this and why Seine seemed so okay with this. Yes, times have changed and people know now of the existence of supernatural creatures - which they called Gifteds - but that doesn't mean most ordinary people are okay with them. They usually have at least a bit of hesitancy, of wariness. They certainly don't usually offer themselves up for a snack.

He supposes less has changed between Safford and Seine than he thought. He sort of wishes more had.

"Is that a no?" Seine seems less sure now.

"No, no." Ghede says, hands waving and head shaking in emphasis. "I was just surprised is all."

Seine laughs. It is a musical sound. "I don't see why." He pauses for a moment, his features going serious. "I mean it though," he says quietly. "Anything you need, I'm willing."

Ghede thinks if there is a god, he must be punishing him. This conversation is too familiar, too fraught with feelings Ghede doesn't want to examine, doesn't want to endure: guilt, shame, regret, wanting, lust. He shakes his head. He feels dangerously close to the past in this moment but he'll be damned if he'll do Seine the same way he did Safford. He's learnt things since then. There are things that need to happen in Seine's life and Ghede won't cause any of those things to break this time. He refuses.

"I don't need anything now, it's okay. Thank you for offering though."

Seine eyes him again, doing that thing where Ghede is certain he's examining his soul. He opens his mouth to say something but seems to think better of it and closes it again. He nods. "Okay." He says. He stands and stretches before smiling down at Ghede. "So, since it's so late, is it okay if I stay over?"

Ghede nods without even thinking about it and Seine's smile widens into a grin and he's flouncing his way back towards the living room and his bag. 

Ghede watches him go. He has the feeling that Seine knows he hasn't told the entire truth but if the teen isn't going to let it bother him Ghede isn't going to let it bother him either. 

No, instead, he'll hold tight to Seine tonight and tell him how much he loves him. He'll cherish him and care for him and do all the things he should have done before. Seine will never know hurt at his hands, Ghede vows it.

Ghede is clearing away the dishes when Seine comes back into the kitchen and wraps arms around him from behind, pressing his cheek into the line Ghede's back. He squeezes tight, doesn't say anything.

For some reason that undoes Ghede. This quiet, unconditional acceptance from this boy who really should hate him -- who probably would if he knew the depths of wrong Ghede has done -- gets to him in a way not much has in a very long time.

He wraps his fingers around one of the arms holding him and bows his head. The tears start slowly, building until they're wracking his body.

Seine just keeps holding him, slipping around at some point to cradle Ghede's head to his chest. And Ghede feels even worse for it but Seine is warm and giving and accepting and he can't pull away. Not when that blood sings to him and not even even when his fangs come.

Seine doesn't fight him and Ghede takes, the feeling heady, the taste drugging. He doesn't taste the same but it is still so intoxicating, so blindly good. And Seine tilts his head back and to the side and Ghede just wraps an arm around his back and keeps going. 

It's a lot like the first time but it's different. It has to be different because _Ghede_ is different. He's not that person any more and he can stop before it's too late. 

He keeps drinking. 

It's different because he'd never hurt Seine who trusts him so much. He's learnt. Safford is still a scar on his soul and he'd never do that again, not to this boy who is Safford but not Safford. Ghede won't break that connection to his officer that he hasn't met yet. He won't.

Right?

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be fluffy but my hand slipped.


End file.
